Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Manning under investigation

AP Wire services, Jacksonville, FL-Federal investigators confirmed today that quarterback Peyton Manning of the Indianapolis Colts is under investigation for animal abuse. "It seems that Mr. Manning and some of his teammates have been involved in severe abuse of Jaguars", said FBI liaison Vic Del Rio. "Some of the beatings have been virtually inhuman". Manning's representation had no comment at the present time. Investigators have been centering on Manning and teammate Dwight Freeney running Jaguar kittens ragged and then beating them about the head. "We had suspicions that they were using the Jaguars for competitive purposes, but judging from the shape these cats are in, that now seems unlikely. They don't have much fight in them." stated Del Rio. NFL commissioner Roger Goodell is reportedly considering action in the matter. "If I find out that these allegations are true or that the abuse continues, I may have to take drastic measures, such as awarding them another trophy."


coltsfanawalt said...

Ha! This one made the night. Thanks.

coltsfanawalt said...

For the sake of all jaguars, PETA is even more incensed at the team's use of the strong cat's name.

"Cruelty", one official complained. "No jaguar should have to endure this association."

A similar complaint has been registered in Detroit...