Saturday, March 10, 2007

Why we enjoy punking on the Jags...

There are teams in every sport that I dislike or hate. I LOATHE Ohio State. I dispise the Braves and Cubs. I used to hate the Knicks. The Pats piss me off. I would hate the Titans more, but I really respect Jeff Fischer as being the smartest/ballsiest coach in the NFL. But very rarely does a team elicit the kind of response from me that the Jacksonville Jaguars do...

Comedic Distain

The truth is that they amuse me while angering me just a tad. Before we get to the reasons for my irritation with this team let's preface the conversation by noting that all time the Colts are 9-3 against the Jags. This is not exactly a nip and tuck rivalry. But starting with a hiccup against the Jholes (in a flukey game) back in 2003, the notion has developed that 'the Jags always play the Colts tough'. Since 2003, the series has been a slightly more balanced 5-3 with the two teams splitting thier games in 3 of the last 4 years. So with the facts in is my list of why I find the Jags funny and yet annoying:

1. Jack Del Rio-possibly one of the least fear inspiring coaches in the NFL. He can be counted on making at least one major strategy error per game. He kicks FGs at the wrong time and goes for it at the wrong time. The man once responsible for nearly de-limbing his own punter presided over the most inconsisntent team in the NFL last year (according to the Footballoutsdiers variance stat in weekly DVOA-check out for details). He had a team that could play D and rush the football, and coached them out of the playoff hunt. Smooooooth Jack.

2. Josh Scobee the cannon legged kicker straight out of a movie script-He killed the Colts with a game winner from long range in 2004, and terrifies you from 48 yards and beyond, but routinely shanks short kicks. A Scobee miss is a much a given in a Colts/Jags game as a Del Rio mistake.

3. Jaguar fans as sampled from the Ask Vic collumn-Thier fascination with the Colts both surprised and annoyed me. They are all covinced that the Colts cheat their way up and down the field. These view points are encouraged by the slight witty, partly paranoid, and mostly clueless host of Ask Vic-Vic Ketchman. Vic is convinced that the Colts pipe in crowd noise illegeally (don't get me started on one of the stupidest non-stories of all time), are headed for salary cap hell just like the Jags of the early 2000s, and manipulate the officials. I was put onto Vic's collumn by other Colts fans who found it hilarious how preoccupied the Jags were with us. I'll hand it to them, it's entertaining, but also annoying. I do appriciate that Vic isn't a company man and will question the Jags from time to time, but mostly he's clueless when it comes to football.

4. The Jags QB controversies-How hilarious can one franchise be? The Jags have a QB in Leftwhich, who is one of the toughest SOBs in football. I don't think he's a great QB, but I saw Freeney KILL HIM several times, and dude just limped up and hobbled back to the huddle. He's tough. He plays hurt. He's a leader. So Jack "Del Retard" decided to bench his ankle impaired QB in favor of David "the human turnover" Gerrard who somehow fooled some TV color announcers that he was a 'winner'. And then prompted turned their season into dog crap. So they yanked him and started Quinn Gray who managed to tear up the Chiefs (oooooooooh nice job Quinn! They are like the 85 Bears!) and prompted Jags fans to get in a tizzy over who should play QB next year. Of course none of this matters at all because their WRs are so horrible Joe Montana could be their QB and not get a passer rating over 90.

5. Black and Teal Jerseys? WTF?

We beat them too often for me to hate them. They are too funny to be scarey. Mostly, they just amuse and annoy me. Ladies and Gentleman...Your Los Angeles Jaguars!

1 comment:

Demond Sanders said...

My only thought was that if Rhodes played for the New York Giants he might have a decent shot for some endorsements, commericials etc. And thus he could make more money in the long run. This is probably naive (Dom is not the most eloquent or marketable guy, especially after the DUI) and there is always the possibility that NYG just didn't want him (but seriously I'd rather have Rhodes than Droughns any day). I was just thinking how popular Tiki Barber is in New York, but I guess its pretty unrealistic to compare the two.